Lie To Me
by Jurojin
Summary: My own little way to explaining how Castle "finds out."
1. Chapter 1

_Yes, new territory. MUHAHAHAHAHAHA_

_Lie To Me_  
_Castle_  
_Rick Castle/Kate Beckett_  
_PG_  
_Warnings: Angst, people. Anyone watching the show right now knows that's about all we're getting._  
_Summary: My own little way to explaining how Castle "finds out."_

_Inspired by this song, but not a song fic: 12 Stones - Lie To Me (accoustic)_

* * *

Rick Castle sauntered into the bullpen with his typical two coffees. He glanced around the station as he set the cups down on the edge of Beckett's desk. He caught Esposito coming out of the break room. "Hey, where's Beckett?"

"Upstairs. Weekly appointment." Javier gave him a look and immediately Castle knew what he was trying to tell him without words.

"Oh."

"Yeah. That." He threw a folder down on his desk and sat down roughly, sighing. "She'll be back soon though. Her hour is almost up." He flipped through the papers without looking up.

Castle sat in his usual chair beside Kate's desk. He sipped his coffee and anxiously looked around, checked his watch, anything to keep himself busy. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.

He shot up out of the chair finally getting Esposito to look up from his desk. "I think I'll just go up and see if she'd like an escort."

The detective just smirked back at the writer. He knew the last thing Beckett would want is an escort from her shrink session. And he knew that Castle knew that but the man just had a knack for driving Beckett crazy and getting away with it. "Sure. You do that."

Castle didn't wait for him to say anything else, just turned and headed up the stairs in the back. He pushed his way through the fourth floor door and rounded the corner he knew lead to the psych doc. Next thing he knew he was in a tangle of arms, papers and tapes.

"Oh jeez, I'm sorry! I didn't even see you. Are you ok?" He bent to start picking up the papers and tapes as the young woman he'd nearly ran over did the same.

"It's ok Mr. Castle. I wasn't watching where I was going." She blushed as she looked up at him and then quickly away. He couldn't help smiling back at her.

"Still, I hope I didn't break anything." He reached over to scoop up some of the tapes that had bounced further from the rest. "At least I hope...I...didn't..." He trailed off as he pulled one tape closer and noticed the label across the side: _Det. Beckett - 4/5/2012._

"I'm in one piece, nothing to worry about." She reached out for him to hand her the tapes he had in his right hand, not noticing the lone tape he held in his left.

As she spoke to him, Castle broke his daze and without even thinking about it handed her the tapes while pocketing the one with Beckett's name on it quickly. "I think that's the last of them."

"Thanks, Mr. Castle." She blushed again and hurried away, already starting to shuffle the items back into order.

Rick pulled the tape out of his coat pocket and ran his thumb over the label.

_Det. Beckett - 4/5/2012_

He just stood there and stared at the words, slightly smudged. What the hell was he thinking? This definitely wasn't the way into her heart; the place he intended on ending up. But how long did she expect him to wait with nothing? No sign, no signal. He saw her every day and every day it got a little harder to not just spill his guts out to her.

Castle looked over his shoulder at the doctor's door, pocketed the tape again and headed back downstairs.

* * *

Esposito watched Castle descend the stairs and the detective noticed something different about him. Castle was whistling as he made his way over, but he had this look; this movement he'd seen on suspects that weren't exactly telling the entire story. "So did she tear you a new one? I notice she came back down alone and you definitely look like you did something."

Castle gave him a nervous laugh. "So, she's back then?" He glanced around quickly.

"Had to report to the captain. Just take a seat, Castle. I'm sure she'll-"

"Listen, something important came up. Can you tell her I'll see her later? Thanks!" Before Javier could even blink, the writer had high tailed it to the elevators and was on his way out.

"Was that Castle?" Esposito whipped around from staring at the elevators to look at Beckett. "Yeah. He came to see you. But went upstairs when I told him you had your...you know." Javier looked a little uncomfortable and Kate's face showed he should leave it at that. "Then all of a sudden he was taking the stairs two at a time and getting out of here like his ass was on fire."

Beckett just smirked as she sat and opened a file on her desk. "It's Castle, Espo. I'd be worried if he _wasn't_ acting weird." She flipped through a few of the papers, making notes here and there.

"Yeah, but he seemed...anxious. When is Castle anxious to get _out_ of here?"

Kate's writing slowed down until it stopped and she looked across at the other detective. "You think it was a family thing?" Her face took on a worried look.

"Maybe. He said he had something come up."

Kate bit her lip in thought and went back to her case file as she spoke. "I'll stop by his place later. I'm sure it's just something with his mother."

* * *

_"I don't know Kate. You tell me when you're ready. It doesn't work the other way around."_

Castle stood in his office, the deep voice of Dr. Burke bouncing off the walls. Then came a voice he could pick out in any crowd.

_"I wasn't aware I'd have to do this many sessions. Can't you just sign whatever you need to sign?"_ Castle smiled. It was nice knowing he wasn't the only person in her life that was a pain in her ass.

_"Last time you started to talk about your partner. Why don't we continue where we left off?"_

_"Why don't you stop dancing around and just ask me what you want to know?"_

_"Kate, I'm not here to make you do anything you don't want to do. If you want to talk about it, then I'm here to listen."_

The pause was so long, Castle thought she wasn't planning on continuing but eventually she did.

_"Castle is...he's...it's complicated."_ He heard her take in a deep breath. _"I'm closer to him than any other person...I haven't been open with people since my mother's murder. But...it's different with him."_

_"Explain what you mean by 'different.'"_

Now Castle could make out the sound of her pacing. _"I don't rely on people. People let you down. I've never needed anyone. I've never wanted to need anyone because once you need them...that's when they disappear."_ Everything went silent on the tape for a while but she started to speak again. _"I think I _need_ Castle."_

Rick slowly sat behind his desk and just stared at the small tape recorder.

_"And that scares you?"_

_"Yes."_

_"I take it, then, that you haven't told him?"_

Castle's eyes drew together in confusion. Told him what?

He waited for Beckett to say something but it was Dr. Burke who spoke again. _"Kate, I won't tell you what to do but you must know he'll find out eventually. Wouldn't it be better if he heard it from you?"_

Castle had no idea he was holding his breath. _"What if it's all wrong? What do I do if I tell him I remember, that I remember everything and he's...that it's not..."_

Beckett's voice continued to fill his office but he didn't hear a word of it. "She remembers. She remembers all of it." He just sat there, staring at the little tape recorder like it could explain her betrayal. The box of plastic and wires distracted him enough that he didn't notice Beckett standing in the doorway to his office.

"Castle?" His head jerked when he heard her say his name and it wasn't coming from the recorder. He looked at her wide eyed and fumbled to turn the player off.

Kate's face switched from a mixture of anger and shock and her eyes kept jumping from him to the little player. "How-"

"You _lied_ to me." Castle was surprised at the way the four words left his mouth. He'd never spoken to her like that; cold, hard and completely empty. He was pretty sure his eyes matched his words.

They stood there staring at each other for what seemed to Rick like hours but had to only be a few seconds.

The anger melted from her face as he watched one tear slide down her left cheek. She blinked and her mask of indifference was back in place. It all seemed to happen in slow motion as she just turned and walked out of his office, the smooth click of his front door letting him know she'd left the loft.

Castle stood there, not really knowing what to do with himself until he noticed the tape hadn't stopped.

"_You should be honest with him, Kate."_

"_No. Not yet. You don't know him like I do. I need to get over this first. I need-"_

Rick never heard the rest of her sentence since the small recorder exploded into a million pieces against the fall wall of his office.


	2. Chapter 2

_Lie To Me_  
_Castle_  
_Rick Castle/Kate Beckett_  
_PG - NC -17, PG here though_  
_Warnings: Angst, people. Anyone watching the show right now knows that's about all we're getting._  
_Summary: My own little way to explaining how Castle "finds out." Obviously now AU after the finale, but I'm going on the same path I had anyway._

* * *

"I can't stand this, man. It's been three weeks." Ryan kept watching Beckett through the window of the room he and Esposito were using. He turned to look at his partner. "Don't you think we should do something?"

Esposito just sighed and stopped what he was doing to look up. "Like what? It's Beckett. You want to go and get into her business?"

Ryan turned back around to glance through the window again. "We're her friends, Javier." He paused. "She'd do the same for us." He sighed. "She has done the same for us."

Javier stood up to join his friend at the window. They both watched the female detective tear through file after file not noticing a thing going on around her. Espo sighed. Damn it, Castle. This was the writer's fault. They all knew it. He was still around, but he'd never seen them so out of tune. Beckett was cold; empty. And Castle. Javier swore under his breath. He'd love to just wipe that smug look off his face with his fist every time he saw him. Every time he came waltzing into the precinct now he had some different girl with him and he made damn sure Beckett noticed.

"Look at her. She's a machine. I mean, I know she was like this before..." Ryan didn't have to explain. Espo knew he meant before Castle. It was no secret that Det. Kate Beckett had only cared about one thing and one thing only; catching murders and especially one in particular. Then came the pain in all their asses, Richard Castle. He was just as surprised as anyone else that they all ended up working so well together. But it was nothing like the connection Castle had with Beckett. "Where's Castle now?"

Neither man moved from watching their boss. "He went to the morgue to get info on the victim from Lanie."

* * *

Lanie pulled the mask away from her mouth and jotted down the last of her notes on the clipboard in her hands. This girl was a fighter. She sighed. It never got any easier, seeing what humans could do to each other. _But_, she reminded herself, _I help catch the sons of bitches_.

"Dr. Parish! I hope you have something good for me because this one seems to be a toughy."

Lanie didn't even bother turning. She knew who it was and just the sound of his voice was like nails on a chalkboard. She'd had enough of his crap. She kept her eyes on her clipboard and never stopped writing. "Where's Beckett? I don't give out investigation information to civilians."

Castle was a bit taken aback by her cold tone. "She's upstairs, I guess. I don't know. I came down on my own."

"Well until I see a _detective_, I'm not handing out any information." She still hadn't looked up from her clipboard.

"Lanie, I-"

"No!" She had whirled around and the look she shot him made him swallow whatever it was he was about to say. "It's Dr. Parish to you, Mr. Castle."

Alexis came closer to the opening to the office but stayed out of sight, brought out by the raised voice of her boss.

"I knew you were an ass, Castle, but I didn't think you were cruel."

"What are you talking about?" Rick looked genuinely confused which just made Lanie even madder.

"Oh don't give me that crap. You know damn well what I'm talking about."

"Obviously I've done something to upset you-"

She cut him off again. "You're damn right you did. And then you walk around here like you own the place, bringing in any bimbo you meet on the street with you."

Castle narrowed his eyes at her and injected frost into his own words. "I wasn't aware it was anyone's business what I do or with whom."

"It is when you parade around Beckett knowing damn well it's killing her, seeing you like that."

"I sincerely doubt Beckett cares about anything I do."

Lanie just looked at him like he'd grown another head. Could he really be that dumb? Mean? Or did he really not know?

"Castle I don't know what game you're playing but no one else knows the rules. I highly recommend talking to Beckett."

"I don't want to talk to her." Castle turned his back on her and his eyes shifted around nervously.

"Why not? What happened, Castle? You two...why are you doing this to her?"

She'd barely gotten the question out before he was turning quickly and shouting back at her. "She lied to me!"

Lanie just started back at him, shocked. She'd never seen Castle this way.

Alexis held her breath in the doorway.

"You think I'm the one playing the games? Why don't you ask her about that day? Ask her about lying to me this entire time. Ask her if she enjoyed leading me around on a leasch for a year, waiting. And for what?"

Lanie held up her hand to stop him. "Rick, I honestly don't know what you're talking about."

"She remembered. She remembers _everything _that happened that day. She knows I love her and she's toyed with me this entire time."

Alexis sighed and turned to grab her things. Nothing she'd heard surprised her. It was like everyone in the world knew they loved each other, except for them. She needed to swing by the loft before going to, hopefully, help her dad.

He really was an idiot sometimes.

* * *

Kate had just finished her second glass of wine and was on her way to the kitchen to pour her third when someone knocked on her door. Sighing, she set the glass down on the closest surface and headed to see who it was. There was a very short list of people who ever came by and the person at the top of that list had better not be on the other side.

Beckett pulled the door open quickly, getting ready to start her tirade when she suddenly stopped and stared back at the youngest Castle. "Alexis?" She leaned over and looked out into the hall, expecting to see Rick hiding behind his daughter. He wasn't there so she looked back at the young woman. "What're you doing here?"

"Do you mind if I come in?"

Kate shook her head, blinking quickly and looking a bit embarrassed. "Yes, yes. Of course. Sorry."

"I'm sure you were expecting another Castle behind your door."

Beckett shut the door and didn't look at Alexis as she walked past her to her glass. "That obvious?"

Alexis followed her into the kitchen without being asked. "You looked like you were ready to unload on me. Well, him."

The young woman watched her friend pour another glass of wine, but not pick it up. She just placed both palms on the island top and leaned heavily against them. "I'm not really even sure what to say to you. Did he send you here?"

When Kate looked at her, Alexis could tell if she answered 'yes' it would have hurt her beyond belief. "No. No, he has no idea that I'm here."

"Then why-"

"I know. I know about all of it. I know about how you told him you didn't remember that day. I know about how he's been acting like an ass. I know that you're both acting completely irrational."

Beckett pushed away from the island and crossed her arms in defense. "Irrational? I'm irrational? Did he tell you what he did? That he broke my trust?" The confused look on Alexis's face gave her her answer. "I didn't think so. I guess when you're focused on the conquest of the week you don't explain to your daughter how you invaded someone else's private life."

"Then tell me." Kate stared back at her and not for the first time she thought of how someone so young could be so insightful. And she came from Castle.

Before starting, Kate picked up her glass and turned toward the window on her far wall. Slowly she made her way to look out as she spoke. "You probably already know this, but I have to see a shrink." She throws Alexis a smirk over her shoulder. "Being shot and all."

"Dad mentioned it. No details, just that he thought it would help you."

"Talk about me often?" Kate took a sip of her wine and couldn't help but smile around the rim at the girl's answer.

"You have no idea."

The smile didn't last long though. "Yeah, well. These sessions, they're personal. I wasn't ready...I was waiting..." This was harder than she thought it would be. "He took one. One of the tapes I mean. He took one and listened to it."

Alexis just closed her eyes and hung her head. "Detective Beckett, my dad has done a lot of really stupid things in his life but even I have to agree with you on this one. He had no right to do that."

Kate didn't say anything, just chuffed into her glass as she took another sip, continuing to stare out of the window.

"But, and I know it's none of my business, what were you waiting for?"

Alexis saw Kate's shoulders tense. "None of us know what you went through. But I've never seen my dad so...he was crazy, Kate." She hoped she wasn't crossing some line using her first name. They saw each other outside of work, but Kate was her superior. "I know you have a lot you need to work through. But you weren't the only one that got hurt."

Beckett didn't turn. She didn't want Castle's daughter to see her. She didn't want her to know how painful hearing this was.

Alexis stood there for a few minutes and finally turned to leave. Kate heard her door open and then heard Alexis through her living room. "He loves you. I know he told you, but...it just goes beyond that."

Kate took another sip of her wine as she heard the snick of the door close.


	3. Chapter 3

_Lie To Me_  
_Castle_  
_Rick Castle/Kate Beckett_  
_PG - NC -17, PG here though_  
_Warnings: Angst, people. Anyone watching the show right now knows that's about all we're getting._  
_Summary: My own little way to explaining how Castle "finds out." Obviously now AU after the finale, but I'm going on the same path I had anyway._

* * *

"You did _what_?"

Alexis had seen her dad mad before but this time, the fury she saw in the morgue earlier in the week was directed at her. Still, she knew what she did needed to be done and she would stand her ground.

"You heard me the first time, dad."

"How dare you-don't talk to me like that! Remember who's the adult in this relationship!"

"That's the whole reason I went over there. I'd forgotten."

Castle went to raise his voice again but her words hit him harder than anything physical she could have done.

"I suppose acting like a spoiled five year old is your idea of 'adult.' I know your lifestyle dad. It's not like you ever kept it a big secret from me but I thought...things have been different and all of sudden the guy who'd stay gone for days at a time without caring who knew where he was is back. And I gotta say, I think I'm old enough now to tell you I don't like him very much."

Rick couldn't believe what he was hearing. He also knew it wasn't painful because his daughter was saying it. It was because she was absolutely right. As always, she could read him like one of his novels.

"You know I'm right. And I know what you're doing. Don't you remember when you decided to continue this cops and robbers thing? I was furious. But you reminded me why you were doing it." She smiled at him and he took a deep breath, never moving his eyes from hers.

"She makes me happy." It felt almost like saying the words, however faint, released the anger he was holding on to. God, he was such an ass. He had to have his teenage daughter tear him a new one to see what was right in front of his face.

"If she still makes you happy, and don't lie and say she doesn't, then why are you doing this? So she didn't tell you she knew how you felt. I know it's blunt, but you can't tell me you didn't realize how messed up Det. Beckett is." She said it nonchalantly, but there wasn't any humor behind it. "She gets shot, by the same people who murdered her mother, and she's supposed to come running to you to make it all better."

"That's not what-"

"It is and you know it. You're a writer, dad. You had the whole thing worked out in your head before anyone else knew what parts they were supposed to play. This isn't one of your novels and she isn't perfect. You can't write her into what you want and you can't punish her for trying to write her own story on her own terms."

Rick turned away from wall of truth she'd built in front of him and stared out of his office window.

"I love you, dad. And I want you to be happy. I've seen you two dance around this for years now. It's time for you to actually _ask_ her to join you instead of expecting her to just cut in."

Castle couldn't help but chuckle, even if it wasn't full of his usual bravado. "Who's the writer again?"

"Yeah well, I learned from the best." Alexis walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. She squeezed and he squeezed her arms back in response. She let go and turned to leave but said one last thing. "She's different, dad. She's real."

Rick stayed there, staring at the rain long after she'd left.

* * *

_One week later_

It was raining again.

Kate pulled the blanket she was using closer to her and went back to the book she was reading. This was pretty much how she'd spent every night since...well she didn't really have anyone to go anywhere with now, did she? She narrowed her eyes and pulled herself away from dwelling on it but she couldn't stop the picture of Castle with some brunette last week.

_Enough. Enough already._

Sighing, she squirmed to get comfortable again and try to focus on her book. She wasn't exactly that interested in it but the one she _really_ wanted to read she didn't dare touch. Castle had given her a copy of his first draft of the next Heat novel before...well all of this. She couldn't deny wanting to do to him the same he'd done to her. He invaded her privacy and she'd held that manuscript in her hand a few times, her cell phone in the other. It would be so easy to make the call. Leak what he'd worked on for a year and show him exactly how it felt, even if it wasn't as personal as what he'd done. Every time she started to dial, though, she ended up just locking the phone.

Kate was furious with Castle, but she just couldn't do it. She couldn't do that to him, no matter how big of an ass he was and had been since.

_Two wrongs don't make a right and all that._

She rolled her eyes and again, tried to push Richard Castle from her mind but was interrupted by a knock at her door. Beckett sat up and pulled the blanket away from her but didn't stand immediately. The last time someone had knocked on her door, she'd had an 18 year old girl smack her in the face with a lot of truth. There hasn't been a knock since. Somehow, she knew this time, it wouldn't be the young Castle outside her door.

Slowly, trying to pull together the shields she knew she'd need, Kate made her way to the door. She didn't need too, but she asked who it was anyway.

"It's...ah...It's Castle." Castle. He'd used his last name instead. It was a small detail that spoke volumes.

Beckett didn't bother to ask what he wanted, she just opened the door. He was drenched and it looked like he hadn't tried to make it out of the rain but instead had let it take him over. His hair was spiked every which way and his jacket, shirt and pants were plastered to him.

"Castle, I don't know exactly how much a writer makes these days but I'm pretty sure it's enough to afford an umbrella." It came out snappier than she'd intended but seeing him had hit her walls harder than she'd expected.

He stared back at her, straight into her eyes and didn't acknowledge her attempt at cold humor. "May I come in?"

Kate hesitated. She wanted to say yes badly but that part of her she'd always kept safe screamed that he'd just hurt her again. It didn't matter what he had to say.

"Why, Castle? Why should I let you in?" They stared at each other and both knew she wasn't speaking only of the entrance to her apartment.

At first she didn't think he'd answer. She thought she'd finally pushed enough and he'd realize it was a lost cause. But before she could make another snappy comment he spoke softly.

"You make me happy."


End file.
